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The Onion

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Latest posts

Last updated about 3 hours ago

High Noon Recalls Vodka Seltzers Mislabeled As Celsius

about 3 hours ago

Certain 12-packs of Celsius energy drinks have been recalled after a packaging...

Everything We Know About ‘The Devil Wears Prada 2’ So Far

about 10 hours ago

Photos of Anne Hathaway and Meryl Streep on the set of The...

Wedding Vows A Damning Chronicle Of How Much Bride Changed Herself For Groom

about 10 hours ago

TRAVERSE CITY, MI—Raising their eyebrows at the bride’s assertion that she was...

Doctor With Positive Attitude Learns Something New From Every Malpractice Suit

about 10 hours ago

CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA—Maintaining that mistakes were simply life lessons in disguise, upbeat general...

Orlando Bloom Spotted At Dinner With Angela Merkel

about 10 hours ago

BERLIN—Just weeks after announcing his split with fiancée Katy Perry, English actor...

Study Finds Federal Food Assistance Slows Cognitive Decline

1 day ago

A National Institutes of Health-funded study found that older adults who participated...

Oreo And Reese’s Team Up To Sicken Dogs

1 day ago

EAST HANOVER, NJ—Unveiling a much-anticipated collaboration they said fans have long been...

How Aid Is Distributed In Gaza

1 day ago

The U.N., Doctors Without Borders, and other humanitarian groups are sounding the...

Eternal Wrestle

1 day ago

The post Eternal Wrestle appeared first on The Onion.

Top Songs July 2025

1 day ago

1 Teacher Is A Bitch Morgan Wallen 2 Make U A Sandwich...

Trump Sues Safeway Circular For False Ham Claims

1 day ago

WASHINGTON—In an escalation of his ongoing feud with the press, White House...

What to Know Before Going to Lollapalooza

1 day ago

What to Know Before Going to Lollapalooza In an effort to help...