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McSweeney’s
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Latest posts
Last updated 34 minutes ago
I’m Still Your America
about 16 hours ago
Hey, patriot. It’s been a week. As ICE spreads terror through the...
Excerpts from The Believer: How to Snow a Mountain
about 20 hours ago
- - -A series of essential advice. - - -The first time...
“Will Sally Have a Baby Before All Her Eggs Die?” A Word Problem
about 21 hours ago
QUESTION: Sally wants to graduate from college, establish a career, marry an...
Tinder Hasn’t Worked, So I’m Putting Myself on Zillow
1 day ago
After a decade on dating apps, I’ve decided to enter a different...
Yes, I am Wearing a Henley at the Grocery Store
2 days ago
I’m obviously acting the same as I’ve always acted, and nothing about...
Let Us Walk You Through Our Very Reasonable Baby Registry
3 days ago
Thank you so much for helping us welcome our new baby into...
Cake Scientists Say This Is the Healthiest Way to Eat an Entire Cake Off a Cake Stand, Top Down, in One Sitting (Sponsored by the Remaindered Cake Association)
3 days ago
Take your time. You have to eat the whole cake, but you...
Please Don’t Say Mean Things about the AI That I Just Invested a Billion Dollars In
4 days ago
“[Nvidia CEO] Jensen Huang Is Begging You to Stop Being So Negative...
A Glossary of Philadelphia Slang
4 days ago
Jawn (/jôn/) A term used by New York transplants to pander to...
I’m a Bodega Cat, and I Guess I’m in Charge Now?
5 days ago
Dear Customers: Some humans (I think? Hard to tell) in masks and...
A Message from Your Federal Overlords
5 days ago
“Even as videos emerged that contradicted the government’s account, the Trump administration...
I Am the Payroll Accountant for Professional Protestors in Minnesota, and I Am Swamped
8 days ago
“House Majority Whip Tom Emmer, R-Minn., slammed Minnesota state leaders after anti-Immigration...