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McSweeney’s

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Latest posts

Last updated about 12 hours ago

Vandalizing Washington, DC, Is a Crime—Unless You’re Overturning an Election

about 12 hours ago

“President Donald Trump called Monday for those he accused of vandalizing the...

Human Visibility Scale

about 15 hours ago

15-Year-Old Girl: Fully visible 15-Year-Old Boy: In your face! 25-Year-Old Woman: Lookin’...

The Seven Meanings of “Fine,” in Descending Order of Plausible Deniability

about 18 hours ago

1. Excellent. Fine as in cabernet. Fine as in dovetail joinery. Fine...

An Open Letter to the Dead Duck Seen Floating in the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool

1 day ago

“A viral photograph of a dead duck floating in the Lincoln Memorial...

The Hardest Thing to Say: On Neurodivergence and Work

1 day ago

You’ve Always Been This Way is a column written by Taylor Harris...

Swim Strokes Throughout the Ages

2 days ago

400,000,000 BCE The creatures that will one day evolve to become human...

This Is the Part of Your Baby’s Cochlear Implant Procedure Where I Show Them Angine de Poitrine

3 days ago

In a moment, I will activate your baby’s cochlear implants. For the...

Clarence Thomas Offers an Originalist Reading of the TGI Fridays Menu

3 days ago

BEER/WINE/COCKTAILS “Try one of our new signature seasonal cocktails, Sour Cherry Fizz-Tini...

Unsung Heroes of Fatherhood

6 days ago

Brandon Jackson, who not only found his wallet without blaming his entire...

Dad Band Dad Jokes

7 days ago

What band is always in a hurry? Rush Which guitarist had the...

Sir Ernest Shackleton’s Journal Entries from the Week He Stayed Home with His Sick Kids

7 days ago

Day 1 Pestilence has struck. The very week Endurance was to sail...

Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: May 2026: Atrocities 931-1013

7 days ago

Early in President Trump’s first term, McSweeney’s editors began to catalog the...