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The Hard Times
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Last updated about 21 hours ago
“Enter Sandman” Voted Best Metallica Song by Random Drunk Dipshits at the Bar
about 21 hours ago
WASHINGTON — A recent poll among the nation’s random drunk dipshits at...
Help! My MAGA Relatives Are So Red Pilled They Think I like the Democrats
about 21 hours ago
It’s hardly controversial to suggest that MAGA has wreaked havoc on American...
Pathetic Loser Thinks Son is His Best Friend
about 21 hours ago
STILLWATER, Okla. — A pathetic local loser believes that he and his...
Still Got It! Surviving Members of “Rumours” Era Fleetwood Mac Lineup Announce Plans for 50th Anniversary Orgy
2 days ago
The Rumours are true! In anticipation of the 50th anniversary of their...
RFK Jr. Proposes Ban on Medication That Prevents Psychobilly Freakouts
2 days ago
WASHINGTON — Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. once...
Opinion: If We Ban Automatic Weapons, What Will My Family Pose with on Our Christmas Cards?
2 days ago
If there’s one thing we need more than ever this holiday season...
Trump Awarded Hormel Peace Prize
2 days ago
AUSTIN, MN — The Hormel Corporation has announced today it will be...
Ted Sarandos Seen Wearing “If You See the FCC Investigating Anti-Competitive Acquisition, Warn a Brother” T-Shirt
2 days ago
LOS ANGELES — After coming out victorious in the multi-billion dollar bidding...
Oof, That Didn’t Age Well: Five Episodes of “Full House” Where Aunt Becky Offers to Get D.J. Admitted to USC by Bribing the School with $500,000 to Have Her Accepted as a Fake Rowing Recruit
3 days ago
If you’re of millennial age, chances are pretty high that you grew...
Keith Richards Cancelled Over Controversial Relationship in 1890s
3 days ago
WESTON, Conn. — Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards is reportedly cancelled after...
Punk ASMR Creator Holds Microphone Up to Bandage Slowly Peeling Off Skin
4 days ago
MINNEAPOLIS — Paige Gerbert, known as online creator ASMR Pope Hammer, posted...
ICE Agent Wakes Up in Cold Sweat From Recurring Nightmare Where Migrant Worker Puts in Hard Days Work, Minds Own Business, and Does Best To Take Care of Family
4 days ago
RALEIGH, N.C. — Federal Immigration Officer Ronny Pimmental once again woke up...