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McSweeney’s
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Latest posts
Last updated about 16 hours ago
I’m Thrilled to Announce I’ve Been Cast as Stickles the Gender-Policing Elf in HBO Max’s New Harry Potter Series
about 16 hours ago
The rumors are true: I’m overjoyed and not at all ashamed to...
Sisters Make You Feel All Normal Inside
about 20 hours ago
- - -I’m flanked by them in most pictures. Perched atop a...
Don’t Judge My Book by Its Cover
about 21 hours ago
Don’t judge my book by its cover. For the cover art of...
Crimes I Have Witnessed as a Resident of Washington, DC
1 day ago
“President Donald Trump said on Monday he was deploying 800 National Guard...
If President Nyarlathotep Says Colonial Williamsburg Requires 24/7 Carcass Battalion Patrols, So Be It
2 days ago
“President Trump announced that he’s placing the DC Metropolitan Police Department under...
This Chocolate Will Kick Your Teeth In
3 days ago
Are you looking for sweet, melty chocolate that makes you feel comforted—or...
An Interview with the National Weather Service’s Former Director of “Feels Like”
3 days ago
Q: You were laid off from the National Weather Service amidst all...
Texas Democrats Are Subverting Democracy by Preventing Us from Subverting Democracy
6 days ago
“Texas Gov. Greg Abbott on Monday ordered the civil arrest of Democratic...
Excerpts from The Believer: Sacrifice Zone: Pattaya
6 days ago
“In this human-made paradise, entertainment reigned supreme, and all forms of leisure...
The Gilded Age Was Created for Quirky Xennial Women Who Studied Theater in College
6 days ago
Many don’t realize that The Gilded Age, the very grand and expensive...
“All I Want for My Birthday Is to Fuck Another Mayfly,” by a Mayfly
6 days ago
I’m going to keep this brief. Tomorrow I will shed my nymphal...
Only ’90s Kids Will Understand This Dead Language Found Scrawled in Blood on the Wall of a Taco Bell Bathroom
7 days ago
Remember Ecto Cooler? IT remembers you. IT remembers every dark day you...