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McSweeney’s

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Latest posts

Last updated 30 minutes ago

I’m Still Your America

about 16 hours ago

Hey, patriot. It’s been a week. As ICE spreads terror through the...

Excerpts from The Believer: How to Snow a Mountain

about 20 hours ago

- - -A series of essential advice. - - -The first time...

“Will Sally Have a Baby Before All Her Eggs Die?” A Word Problem

about 21 hours ago

QUESTION: Sally wants to graduate from college, establish a career, marry an...

Tinder Hasn’t Worked, So I’m Putting Myself on Zillow

1 day ago

After a decade on dating apps, I’ve decided to enter a different...

Yes, I am Wearing a Henley at the Grocery Store

2 days ago

I’m obviously acting the same as I’ve always acted, and nothing about...

Let Us Walk You Through Our Very Reasonable Baby Registry

3 days ago

Thank you so much for helping us welcome our new baby into...

Please Don’t Say Mean Things about the AI That I Just Invested a Billion Dollars In

4 days ago

“[Nvidia CEO] Jensen Huang Is Begging You to Stop Being So Negative...

A Glossary of Philadelphia Slang

4 days ago

Jawn (/jôn/) A term used by New York transplants to pander to...

I’m a Bodega Cat, and I Guess I’m in Charge Now?

5 days ago

Dear Customers: Some humans (I think? Hard to tell) in masks and...

A Message from Your Federal Overlords

5 days ago

“Even as videos emerged that contradicted the government’s account, the Trump administration...

I Am the Payroll Accountant for Professional Protestors in Minnesota, and I Am Swamped

8 days ago

“House Majority Whip Tom Emmer, R-Minn., slammed Minnesota state leaders after anti-Immigration...